she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I need water and some morals
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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