He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
