There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
