My room smells like vodka and shame
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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