So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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