i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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