Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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