My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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