I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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