I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
