dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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