they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
