We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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