This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
