Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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