I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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