Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
