I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
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when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
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I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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