how can u be prego again
I take back everything I said about communal showers
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
