She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
