I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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