using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
