i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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