Dual....:-)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize