So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
did you just send me my own nude
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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