sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
