I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize