North Korea, Best Korea!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
