we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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