i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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