Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
