She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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