she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
