I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
