the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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