he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
