I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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