when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
