Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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