She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just high enough for therapy.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
