dude i'm inner monologue high
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
