Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
