Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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