I wanna passion pit in your ass
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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