some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
