Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
