just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
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