I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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