she woke up with a sticky ear
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
