Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
