Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
