Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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