you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize