My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
