Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
