So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
