id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
