do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
